After some careful consideration, over quite a few bowls and a couple of dabs, I came up with this list of criteria for my future hotel and bed and breakfast reviews.
The review is based on 5 factors which will be influencers in deciding how many of the 5 leaves the place will receive overall.
“The 5 leaves”
5 leaves: Your place is dank, like a hand rolled Thai stick! Be careful, you may get stuck here and lose your job. (Cross your fingers you work from home.) True connoisseurs only!
4 leaves: Like a beautifully put together caviar joint. It is truly satisfying, but you know that somewhere out there, there’s better!
3 leaves: Non-strain specific pre-roll joint. You feel good about the price and your high is pretty nice. And it works when you’re in a rush, but it’s still just an average joint.
2 leaves: Like dirt weed. Seedy. If you’re stuck out, with no other choice, stay
1 leaf: The bottom of an old, dried out bowl. Bowl scrape… Don’t smoke it. It’s disgusting! Avoid it at all costs. Don’t go. I wouldn’t go back. Just like I wouldn’t go back to dirt weed now that I know about the kind bud.
“The 5 factors”
Munchies factor: Are there any? Are they bomb? Can I get them morning, noon and night? Is there any bottled water? I get cotton mouth pretty easily. Are the munchies free? Room service?
Cannabis Friendliness factor: Of course, they know I’m travel and cannabis, but… Is there a designated place to smoke? Is there a balcony in your room? Can you blaze or just dab in the room? Are there any other obvious cannabis smokers around?
The Posh factor: How clean are the accommodations? Is the bathroom inhabitable? Or, do I need flipflops to stand in the shower? Is the place updated, outdated or original? Do I FEEL fancy? Pampered? Are the room, lobby and amenities something nice to look at?
Laziness factor: How lazy can I be here? If I smoke a heavy indica and don’t feel like leaving the grounds: Are the amenities such that I can stay around the hotel/bnb all day? Bellhop? Personal concierge? Spa? Pool? Gym? Television? Speakers? Etc.?
The view factor: Smokers love to look at great sights while partaking! Are there beautiful places to chill and toke? Are there multiple sesh-spots? Any entertainment while smoking (nature or otherwise).
This list may change/be revised periodically. Any suggestions are welcome.